I

Will love you.
I just need time to fall in love with you.

♥

Calm before the storm.

I find it quite difficult knowing the person I really wanted to see doesn't want to see me.

This just means I need to be a stronger person and stop making an effort.

The reason I make the effort? Because if I didn't nothing would happen.

Well who cares?
If nothing happens never mind.
I'll get over it.

I still and always will have the two people in my life that mean more than the world to me; my mammy and olivia.

I always said to myself i'd never get in a relationship whilst at university. I have and now i'm wondering is it even worth it?
It'll only be me that gets hurt in the end.

On and on and on and on.

Well i'm alive again!
Thank god the awful flu has gone far far far away!
Never come back another day thank you!

Although i'm on antibiotics for a uti, but i feel better already :D
And dentist in two hours, they'll hopefully rip my tooth out and i'll be like a complete new Amey again! :D
I feel like i've been a bloody broken woman, but i'm getting fixed.

So i start my new placement next week, actually not looking forward to it, but it'll be different, just need to find my way there without getting lost! -.-
That'll be fun!

I feel quite happy at the minute it's great.
Although i would like to see someone soon.
But we'll see.
It's not fun being so busy.
And not having matching schedule's.
But i guess if it's worth something.
It'll happen.

I'm not gunna lie.

I've never felt this ill in such a long time.
I hurts to move.
I feel dizzy when i stand up.
And i'm oh so cold.

Yet i still have three essays to complete :(

I hate life right now.

Mama I love you.

Mama I care.

I have now realised getting drunk does not make everything okay.
It just makes Amey want to cry.
Yet she continues.
Excellent.

My plan is to get as drunk as possible and have to get put to bed.
It will happen.

I saw Bella earlier on the way home from work.
She looked sad without me.
I makes me so sad they're just going to tear her apart.
She was so good to me.
And she drinks more.

People should always know i'm feeling down when the winner takes it all comes on.

Cause the winner really does take it all.

And now I have nothing more to say apart from I will get drunk.

I miss my mammy.
I miss my friends.
I miss my car.
I miss her.
This is bad times for me.

Selfish.

I don't think i'm selfish.
I think I can be quite selfless most of the time.

Whenever I get in a bad mood over one thing I tend to analyse my whole life.
And right now.
I think i'm going to fail university, i'm completly dreading Friday, two big fat F's!

I think my friendship with Daniel is literally hanging on.
He just doesn't seem to want to bother, i'm not sure.

And then there's this relationship business.
To be fair, my usual trend is; I want what I can't have.
I get them, I no longer want them.
This happens all of the time and I can't help it.
The one time I think I actually like someone and that they could seriously make me happy.
Someone has to spoil it.

I don't understand how someone can hate me so much?
Especially when they don't know me.
I don't particularly think i'm anything special, but i'm a nice enough person?
I honestly thought I was a nice person most of the time.
Maybe i'm not, i've just been too blind to see it.
I know i'm a pain in the arse.
I know this, but I thought there must be some reason people like my company?
Unless they just put up with me? =\
But then why would I have a best friend who seems to enjoy my company?
And we do spend quite a lot of time together, so she wouldn't just put up with me for the crack would she?

I have a feeling that very shortly i'm just gunna close off from people.
Throw myself into university, see no-one and just try and be a good person.

Right now I want my best friend to be here, she'd just stroke my hair give me a kiss on the forehead and a cuddle.
Then she'd tell me everything is going to be just fine then we'd get drunk and watch the L Word.
Instead i'll get drunk alone and watch some rubbish.

I also wouldn't mind seeing the girl right now.
How long she'll be my girl is another question.
It'd be so much easier for her to find a boyfriend and then her best friend would accept her again.
I think she should take this into consideration.

Daw.

So i get dead happy the fact I now have a job.
I have plans to go shopping, which involves me driving to the metro centre.
And my car won't start?
Is someone trying to tell me something?
That I get some good news then bad news?

I'd rather have my car working than a job.

Is this whole university lark worth it?
Is anything even worth the hassle?

Awful awful mood.
I might just sleep.