Selfish.

I don't think i'm selfish.
I think I can be quite selfless most of the time.

Whenever I get in a bad mood over one thing I tend to analyse my whole life.
And right now.
I think i'm going to fail university, i'm completly dreading Friday, two big fat F's!

I think my friendship with Daniel is literally hanging on.
He just doesn't seem to want to bother, i'm not sure.

And then there's this relationship business.
To be fair, my usual trend is; I want what I can't have.
I get them, I no longer want them.
This happens all of the time and I can't help it.
The one time I think I actually like someone and that they could seriously make me happy.
Someone has to spoil it.

I don't understand how someone can hate me so much?
Especially when they don't know me.
I don't particularly think i'm anything special, but i'm a nice enough person?
I honestly thought I was a nice person most of the time.
Maybe i'm not, i've just been too blind to see it.
I know i'm a pain in the arse.
I know this, but I thought there must be some reason people like my company?
Unless they just put up with me? =\
But then why would I have a best friend who seems to enjoy my company?
And we do spend quite a lot of time together, so she wouldn't just put up with me for the crack would she?

I have a feeling that very shortly i'm just gunna close off from people.
Throw myself into university, see no-one and just try and be a good person.

Right now I want my best friend to be here, she'd just stroke my hair give me a kiss on the forehead and a cuddle.
Then she'd tell me everything is going to be just fine then we'd get drunk and watch the L Word.
Instead i'll get drunk alone and watch some rubbish.

I also wouldn't mind seeing the girl right now.
How long she'll be my girl is another question.
It'd be so much easier for her to find a boyfriend and then her best friend would accept her again.
I think she should take this into consideration.